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      Inside the Dementia
     Epidemic: A Daughter's
     Memoir

     
     
      On Wall Street Journal best seller
      list (May 1, 2015)

     


    One
    of Alzheimers.net's 2014 Top Alzheimer's Books for Caregivers

    Winner of the Memoir category of the 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards

    Winner of a Silver Medal in the Health/Medical category of the 2013 Readers' Favorite International Book Awards (and finalist in the Memoir category)

    Finalist, 2013 Eric Hoffer Book Award for Excellence in Publishing

    Winner of an Honorable Mention in the Life Stories category of the 20th Annual Writer’s Digest Book Awards 

    Finalist, 2013 Indie Excellence Book Awards

    Finalist, 2013 Santa Fe Writer's Project Literary Awards Program, Non-fiction category

     

       

     

     

    Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter's Memoir shares the lessons I learned over 8 years of caregiving at home and in a range of dementia care facilities. I describe not only what I learned about navigating the system, but how I learned to see Alzheimer's disease differently—not as a "long good-bye," as it's often called, but as a "long hello." Through caregiving, my challenging relationship with my mother was transformed, and I learned to enjoy and nurture her spirit through the last stages of dementia.

    Appendixes share facts about dementia that I wish I had known years ago, such as how to get a diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease; what medications are approved to lessen the symptoms of Alzheimer's disease; lesser-known risk factors for dementia; and possible antidotes. I include my favorite resources for caregivers, my source notes, and an index.

    Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter's Memoir is available in paperback and hardcover, as an e-book for Apple devices, the Nook, and Kindle, and on Kobo.

    Reviews and Testimonials

    Order the Book

    ______________________________________________________

    PHOTOS:

    The photo at the very top of this page is of my mother, Judy, in 2010, smiling up at Suzanne, a massage therapist I hired who specializes in bodywork for elders.  Suzanne massaged her hands, arms, upper back and legs, talked to her, and played music for her.  [photo by Jason Kates van Staveren]

    Right: My mother at her 75th birthday party in 2007, three years after she could no longer live alone. A few days after this picture was taken she fell, fractured her pelvis and needed more care than her assisted living facility could provide. I had to quickly research alternatives.









    In 1996, Judy and her grandson, Andrew, age 1, on the shale beach outside the cottage on the lake in Upstate New York where she lived by herself for 25 years. It's his first visit, and she's showing him the "big lake water" and how to draw on the flat rocks with pencil-shaped pieces of shale. Her worrisome behavior starts around this time, but as her daughter I don't realize what is going on until much, much later.

    Above: My mother, age 74, and I at the cottage in 2006 with her old miniature Schnauzer, Trinka. I can see the stress of those early caregiving years in my face and in my extra weight. Little did I know how much I would learn over the coming years.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Above: Judy, age 79, and me in early 2012 at the nursing home Judy moved into in 2010. Mom lived with advanced Alzheimer's disease and vascular dementia until she passed away in late 2012, but until the end she often shared her lovely smile. 

     

    Join the fight to stop Alzheimer's by 2020:

        

     

    For caregiver support and resources, visit the Caregiver Action Network. (Membership is free if you are a current family caregiver):

                        

        The Purple Angel--a symbol of hope and dementia awareness

      Inside Dementia

       Welcome to my blog about dementia
       caregiving as a "long hello," not a
      "long good-bye" —how we can become
      "care partners" with our family members
       or friends who are living with dementia, and how we can care for ourselves. Living with Alzheimer's disease or another dementia is a long, hard road, full of grief, anger and despair, but life continues after a diagnosis, and so can moments of joy.

    Read more about my book, "Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter's Memoir," or order the book.

    To sign up for an RSS feed or emails of this blog, scroll down and look to the right.

                                      —Martha Stettinius 

    Tuesday
    Aug132013

    Why Paleo may Help Prevent Dementia

    Recent studies show that there is a correlation between high blood sugar and an increased risk of dementia. You don't have to be fully diabetic to be at risk. For me, this is personal. My mother, Judy, who passed away in December with advanced dementia, always carried some extra weight, and I'm pretty sure she was pre-diabetic but didn't know My mother, Judy, with her grandsonit. (She carried weight around her stomach, an indicator of pre-diabetes, insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome.) I think that if Mom had known years ago what I know now about diet she would have tried hard to change her eating habits. In a previous post ("Is There a Diet to Reduce the Risk of Dementia?") I wrote about the benefits of a low-carb and anti-inflammatory diet.

    Today I want to share with you that once again I am starting a Paleo diet with the hope of losing weight, lowering my blood sugar (on the high side of normal), and getting fit. Like Mom, I carry a lot of weight around my middle, and I need to lose 70 pounds to get back to what I weighed pre-children. On a Paleo diet you eat like a caveman--whatever you could kill, pull from a tree, or dig from the ground before the advent of agriculture. The theory is that human beings have been living in agricultural societies for only a tiny fraction of their time on earth. We are genetically and metabolically unsuited to eat grain, sugar, refined foods such as vegetable oil, potatoes, dairy, legumes, and alcholol. If you eat Paleo-style you eat protein, animal fat, olive oil, lots of vegetables and some fruits and nuts. Basically you shop the periphery of the supermarket--and you cook a lot. Planning ahead is key.

    I started this diet three weeks ago, but fell off the wagon a couple of times because my hubbie and teenage children brought treats into the house that I found too tempting. Now, I'm starting over with the Whole 30 Paleo program (check it out, it's pretty cool) and I'm on Day 3 today. Hubbie and I bought 2 toolboxes with combination locks to keep his treats in--one for the chest freezer for his ice cream bars, one for the pantry for his chips and stuff. So now I can't get to his treats late a night, but he and the kids can if they want to. This was a major step to help me succeed.

    If anyone in your family has had dementia--and particulary if you are an active caregiver for someone with dementia--please take time to think about your own health. How you eat and exercise now will have an effect on your brain health in 10 or 20 years.

    Here's my Paleo lunch today (all leftovers):  pork steak with sauteed onions; pureed cauliflower with coconut milk and grassfed butter (butter from my health food store) (texture is just like mashed potato); massaged kale salad with olive oil, lemon and my garden cherry tomatoes; my garden green and wax beans (not technically Paleo because they are legumes, but I worked hard to grow them so I'm eating them! String beans are more Paleo if their seeds are tiny).

    This 30-day Paleo challenge includes exercise, too. I'm making sure to do something active every day, whether it's hauling weeds out of my garden, walking, or using my new hand weights to do some resistance training.

    At the end of my 30-day Paleo challenge I'll let you know if I lost any weight and if my sugar and carb cravings have disappeared. So far, so good!

     

    Tuesday
    Aug062013

    Night-Time Activities to Soothe an Agitated Senior with Dementia

    Do you care for someone with dementia who gets agitated in the evenings or at night? In this article for eCareDiary.com I share some tips for soothing a person with dementia so you both have a more pleasant time in the late hours of the day. If you have tips of your own, please leave a comment below.

    Question:  I have noticed that my mother who has been diagnosed with dementia, gets increasingly agitated at night. What kind of nighttime activities can help her relax?

    My answer:
    Agitation is extremely common in the middle and late stages of dementia, especially in the evening (“sundowning”). However, if your mother’s agitation has gotten much worse all of a sudden, the first thing to do is make sure she does not have a medical condition, such as a urinary tract infection, dehydration, hunger (from not eating properly), constipation, or bronchitis, that can cause discomfort and a change in behavior. Medication interactions can also cause agitation. It’s very important to have your mother’s doctor complete a thorough exam, and to not allow her doctors or other caregivers to blame her agitated behavior on dementia. Often there is a real need underlying such behavior.

    Read more

     

    Tuesday
    Jul302013

    Life and Death in Assisted Living

    If you are considering assisted living for your loved one with dementia, this Frontline report paints a rather scary portrait of the pitfalls of assisted living:

    http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/life-and-death-in-assisted-living/

    My mother,  Judy, left, lived with me and my family, briefly, then in a conventional assisted living facility, a "memory care" assisted living facility, and a nursing home. What I say to other caregivers is BEWARE of conventional assisted living. It's simply not designed to accommodate people with dementia. The facility won't tell you that, though, when you take a tour. Their business is to promise you the moon and the stars.

    I had to move my mother out of the conventional assisted living facility when she became incontinent and was found wet and cold in her bed in the mornings, uncovered. I hired private aides to come in and keep her showered and changed, but then found an excellent memory care assisted living facility that we were fortunate enough to have nearby. Mom spent 3 very happy years there, with the specially-trained staff who were loving to her. (This photo of her was taken there.) Unfortunately it was private-pay (no Medicaid), and when she ran out of her hard-earned savings (she pinched every penny over the years as a teacher) she had to move into a nursing home for her last 2 years.

    I don't think that conventional assisted living is as frightening as this program makes it out to be, but I do wish that as my mother's caregiver I had been more aware earlier on of the shortcomings of assisted living. Your loved one will still need you to be vigilant and their advocate. Don't expect much "assistance" from conventional assisted living. Try to find "memory care" assisted living instead.

    Friday
    Jul262013

    Dementia and Social Security Disability Benefits

    Can someone with dementia receive Social Security disability benefits? This is an excellent question, and I'm happy to share with you today a guest post by Ram Meyyappan, editor of the website Social Security Disability Help, a network of over 200 attorneys who provide free evaluations about social security eligibility.

    My mother, Judy, age 75My mother, Judy, was already receiving Social Security disability benefits for another medical condition when her dementia began about 15 years ago, so I didn't have to help her apply for the benefits. But since dementia is such a costly condition, lasting for years, we need all the financial help we can get.

    Here is Ram's article:

    Dementia and Social Security Disability Benefits:

    If you are suffering from dementia, the symptoms of your condition can make it impossible to hold down a job. This can wreak financial havoc on a family. Without a means of income and mounting medical bills, the situation can quickly spiral out of control. Fortunately Social Security Disability benefits may be able to help.

    There are two disability programs operated by the Social Security Administration (SSA). These include Supplemental Security Income (SSI) and Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI). Each program has its own qualifying criteria.

    SSDI and SSI

    In order to be approved for SSDI, you must have earned enough work credits throughout your work history. Generally this means working five out of the past ten years. If you are too young to have a ten-year work history, it usually means working half of the years since your 18th birthday.

    SSI is a needs-based program. You do not need any work credits to qualify for this program. You must, however, meet certain financial requirements. As of 2013, to qualify for SSI, your monthly income must not exceed $710 as an individual or $1,060 as a couple. Your household assets must also not exceed $2,000 as an individual or $3,000 as a couple.

    In addition to meeting either one of these financial requirements, you must also have ample medical proof and documentation to prove that your dementia keeps you from working.

    Proving a Disability with Dementia

    In addition to meeting the above-mentioned criteria, you must also prove to the SSA that you are disabled according to their guidelines. When you apply for Social Security Disability benefits the adjudicator who reviews your file will compare your condition to a publication known as the Social Security Blue Book (http://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/). This Blue Book contains a listing of all of the conditions that may qualify an individual for benefits. The Blue Book does not have a specific listing for dementia in the Blue Book. There are conditions listed however, that may cause dementia. If one of these conditions is causing your dementia, that is the condition that you will want to apply under. Some of the conditions that involve dementia that are listed in the Blue Book include:

    • ·       Picks Disease (Type A)
    • ·       Parkinsonian syndrome
    • ·       Early-onset Alzheimer's
    • ·       Creutz-Jakob Disease
    • ·       Primary Progressive Aphasia
    • ·       Lewy Body Dementia

    The key is to determine which listing applies to your specific condition and to supply the medical evidence to prove that you meet the criteria that has been set forth for that listing. In order to qualify you will want to obtain copies of all of your medical records including clinical histories, lab results, treatment histories, and a written statement from your treating physicians.

    For tips on gathering medical evidence, please visit: http://www.disability-benefits-help.org/disability-tips/gathering-medical-records

    Dementia and the Compassionate Allowances Program

    The SSA introduced the Compassionate Allowances program in 2008 to speed up the application process for those with a severe disability. During The normal disability application process, it can take anywhere between 3-6 months to receive a decision on your initial application. However people with conditions that qualify for the compassionate allowance program will hear back within a few weeks to a month.

    All of the conditions mentioned above qualify for the compassionate allowance. For more information on the compassionate allowances program and a complete list of conditions that qualify, please visit: http://www.disability-benefits-help.org/compassionate-allowances

    Applying for Benefits with Dementia

    Oftentimes people with dementia are not capable of applying for benefits on their own. In such situations, a caregiver or legal guardian apply for benefits on your behalf. You or your guardian can apply for benefits online or in person at your local Social Security office. If you are applying in person, have your medical documentation ready. If you are applying online, you will be provided with a cover sheet that will allow you to fax all of your supporting evidence to the SSA.

    Once all of your information has been gathered by the SSA, it will take approximately three to six months to receive a decision regarding your case if you do not have a compassionate allowance condition. You should hear back within a few weeks if you do have a condition that qualifies for a compassionate allowance.

    For a free evaluation, visit Social Security Disability Help.

    Wednesday
    Jul242013

    The Green House Project (a radical alternative to nursing home care)

    Dr. Bill Thomas I just heard on the radio that Dr. Bill Thomas of The Green House Project will be interviewed on NPR's All Things Considered TODAY at 5 p.m. ET. Those of you who have read my book know that I think highly of the Green House Project, a radical alternative to conventional nursing home care. Only a few of us are lucky enough to have one nearby, but more and more Green Houses are being built across the country.

    Listen to his interview today, or download the recording from the NPR website after today:  http://www.npr.org/templates/rundowns/rundown.php?prgId=2