More Tips for Dementia Caregivers

Today I'm pleased to share with you Part II of a guest blog from Michelle Seitzer of Seniors for Living. She's got lots of tips for us on how to make dementia caregiving easier and more enjoyable. You can click on each article to read more.  Thank you, Michelle. -- Martha

Keeping the Environment Clutter Free:

No matter what activities you have planned, it’s important to simplify the environment by limiting (or modifying) the items used on a regular basis. It’s not just about cleaning up and getting rid of useless items — though that’s never a bad idea — but more about simplifying the objects in front of the person at any given time. For example, use a telephone with varying-sized buttons and different colors, since these buttons are usually the same size and color and therefore difficult to distinguish between numbers. Operating on this foundation, simplifying the objects on the table at mealtime and using plates, bowls, and silverware of varying colors and sizes is another way to reduce visual clutter and thereby help the individual more clearly recall the purpose and function of each item.

(Martha: As my mother’s dementia advanced, I asked her memory care facility to give her only one item of food at a time at meals, and only one utensil at a time. Otherwise she seemed to get “stuck” and overwhelmed by the choices. If your loved one can still feed themselves but seems to be losing interest in meals, try using this approach.)

Read more.

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Alzheimer’s Resource Guide:

Maneuver the rough caregiving waters ahead with confidence via the resources in this comprehensive guide, which offers insights that will take you beyond daily activities.

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Alzheimer’s Hurts: Help for Difficult Behaviors:

Wandering, restlessness, paranoia, repetition, hallucinations:  When your loved one is struggling with these issues, the good intentions of a meaningful activity plan may fall by the wayside. Check out this post for tips on dealing with the difficult behaviors characteristic of those with dementia.

(Martha: These are great tips. "Difficult behavior” is not necessarily a symptom of dementia itself, but the result of the real needs and feelings of the person being misunderstood or ignored. The person is still “in there” despite the dementia, and it’s more challenging to understand what their needs and feelings are. Here are some tips for communicating with a person with dementia.)

Michelle Seitzer spent 10 years filling various roles at assisted living communities in Pennsylvania and Maryland, then worked as a public policy coordinator for the PA Alzheimer’s Association before settling down as a full-time freelance writer. Seitzer also served as a long-distance caregiver for her beloved grandfather, who died of complications from Alzheimer’s in 2009. She has blogged for SeniorsforLiving.com, which provides information on assisted living, home care, and Alzheimer’s care, since November 2008, and is the co-moderator of the first #ElderCareChat on Twitter, held on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month at 1 p.m. EST. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

Dementia Care as the "Long Hello"

Today SeniorHomes.com posted this interview they did with me about my book and how I came to see dementia care not as a "long good-bye," as it's so often called, but as a "long hello." I served as a judge for their "Best Senior Living Blog" competition, and this is their "Judge Spotlight" for me. I hope you enjoy it!

Q. As a busy sandwich-generation caregiver with your mom, two children, a husband and a job, why did you start writing your book?

Mom, 65, showing grandson Andrew the "big lake water" at her cottage. Her worrisome behavior started around that time.In the spring of 2005, I realized that my mother, Judy, who was 72 at the time, could no longer take care of herself in her remote lakeside home where she’d lived alone for 25 years. She could not balance her checkbook, she had stopped cleaning and cooking, and she’d lost a lot of weight. In the winter she was in danger of falling on the steep gravel road that led up the cliff to where she parked her car. I convinced her to move into my home with my family an hour away.

I started writing in stolen moments to deal with the stress of suddenly becoming her caregiver. Like many caregivers, I felt so much guilt and confusion. I wanted to reassure myself that I was making good decisions about my mother’s care, and that, despite our challenging history together, I was being a good daughter. When Mom moved into assisted living in the summer of 2005, I would continue to write sporadically after my visits with her, as a way to clear my head, but I did not commit myself to writing about caregiving on a regular basis for another two years. I decided then that my story might help others, and that it would be worth sharing.

Read more

Meaningful Activities: A Resource List for Alzheimer’s Caregivers

When Mom lived with me and my family, and later, when she lived in a range of dementia care facilities, I was always looking for new things we could do together that we'd both enjoy and that wouldn't be too stressful to arrange. As Mom lost her language in the later stages of dementia, these activities became more and more important--things like sitting outside on a nice day, listening to music, and petting my miniature Schnauzer.

Today I'm pleased to share with you a guest post from Michelle Seitzer of SeniorsForLiving.com. She shares many ideas for meaningful activities that will help you enjoy your time with your loved one with dementia.

Here's Part I of her article (I'll post Part II in May):

"The pain of watching your loved one lose so much to the terrible disease of Alzheimer’s, the helplessness and lack of control you feel standing by, the challenges you face in providing intimate daily care--besides all of these tremendously difficult things, one of the hardest parts of caring for someone with dementia is knowing how to fill the down time--that time in between doctors' appointments, haircuts, sleeping, dressing, family gatherings, favorite TV shows, meals and bathing. This task becomes even tougher as the disease advances and the individual loses more physical and cognitive function... and as you become more exhausted by caregiving.

Refer to this resource list for ideas on engaging your loved one in a meaningful way:

Turn Off the TV, Turn Up the Music

While certain nostalgic movies or television shows may be well-received at times, most programs (especially the news) do more damage than good. Though it may have been your father’s routine to watch the evening news, the majority of reports cover incidents of violence and war, causing unnecessary anxiety and agitation. Consider instead a program that is positive and uplifting. Better yet, your father’s favorite music playing softly on the stereo system is more likely to put him at ease than the noise of television commercials and sounds of bombs going off behind the war zone reporter.  Read more

Filling the Unscheduled Time in Alzheimer’s Caregiving

In this article, find 23 simple, affordable activities to fill that 36-hour day that Alzheimer’s caregiving  can feel like, compliments of author Nataly Rubinstein’s book, Alzheimer’s Disease and Other Dementias: The Caregiver’s Complete Survival Guide.  Read more

Creating a Dementia-Friendly Home: Meaningful Activities

What are your loved one’s hobbies? Which activities did he participate in on a daily basis before the diagnosis? When she had time for herself, what did she do? According to the Alzheimer’s Association, the following are qualities of meaningful activities for persons with dementia:

- they bring meaning, purpose, joy and hope to the person’s
   life,
- they use the person’s skills and abilities,
- they give the person a sense of being normal,
- they involve family and friends
,- they are dignified and appropriate for adults, and
- they are enjoyable.

Read more here about how to keep your loved one involved and active at home."

Michelle Seitzer spent 10 years filling various roles at assisted living communities in Pennsylvania and Maryland, then worked as a public policy coordinator for the PA Alzheimer’s Association before settling down as a full-time freelance writer. Seitzer also served as a long-distance caregiver for her beloved grandfather, who died of complications from Alzheimer’s in 2009. She has blogged for SeniorsforLiving.com, which provides information on assisted living, home care, and Alzheimer’s care, since November 2008, and is the co-moderator of the first #ElderCareChat on Twitter, held on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month at 1 p.m. EST. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

Interview on "A Place for Mom"

Hi everyone. I'm delighted this week to share with you an interview that the website "A Place for Mom" did with me about my book. We talk about the lessons I learned from my time caring for my mother that will stay with me through my own old age, and much more. The interviewer, Jeff Anderson, also includes a short excerpt from my book.

"We interview Martha Stettinius, author of Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter’s Memoir, which has been widely praised and also was awarded an honorable mention by Writer’s Digest in the life-stories category. In our interview, Stettinius reflects on caring for her mother and how she coped with the help of support groups and the use of writing as catharsis. She concludes the interview with a poignant reminder to family caregivers that they’re not alone.

"Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter’s Memoir is an exceptional and unique addition to the growing body of caregiver literature. Stettinius candidly portrays the demanding and life changing experience of not only caring for a parent with dementia, but simultaneously raising children, maintaining a marriage and attending to a career. She also seamlessly interweaves the fascinating back-story of the close but sometimes tumultuous relationship with her mother as it progressed since Stettinius’ childhood."    

Read more

4 Activities to Engage Someone with Dementia

Today I'm delighted to share with you a guest post from Paula Spencer Scott, senior editor at Caring.com:

Dementia caregivers face long hours to fill each day. Besides marking time, there's another reason to find meaningful activities to engage someone with dementia. The mood lift that comes from spending time doing something absorbing and enjoyable usually continues for hours or even days after the activity itself has been forgotten.

Consider some of the following:

Repetitive arts activities

  Why they may appeal:  Some people
  with dementia seem to become free
  of inhibitions and self-criticism that
  kept them from enjoying art earlier
  in life. Suddenly, and unexpectedly,
  they may spark to painting or crafting in ways they showed no interest in earlier. Arts activities are also expressive and therefore deeply satisfying. By mid-dementia, your loved one may find repetitive activities less stressful. Because they involve doing the same thing over and over, they can ease frustration and provide a sense of mastery.

Examples:  Stringing popcorn or pasta for decorations, stamping with inks and wood-cut stampers, creating collages with leaves or magazine images, working with clay

Clerical-type activities

Why they may appeal:  People who spent the bulk of their adult lives going into an office may be soothed by activities that echo that life. The materials could be stored in a familiar briefcase or the activities done at a favorite desk. The purpose of what's being done is less important than the purposeful-feeling action of it.

Examples:  Rolling coins, sorting papers, stuffing envelopes, clipping coupons, sorting through folders

Outdoor activities

Why they may appeal:  Being in the fresh air and sunshine tends to help everyone feel better, sleep better, eat better. Someone who used to spend long hours outside for a job or hobbies can be especially comforted being out in nature. Obviously if your loved one is prone to wandering, you need a secure yard or an elder companion who can keep an eye on him or her.

Examples:  Picking up sticks in a yard, weeding, raking, hanging laundry on a clothesline, stacking kindling, digging holes, walking a labyrinth (to minimize getting lost)

Musical activities

Why they may appeal:  Musical memories are stored deep in the brain and are often surprisingly long-lasting. Music is a terrific shared activity, so the socialization doubly improves mood. For those who are religious, hymns and other familiar spiritual music can also be deeply comforting; many of these musical memories go all the way back to childhood. Classic holiday music can have a similar effect.

Examples:  Listening to favorite music (try loading an iPod with custom play lists), plucking a zither or other simple instrument (such as those made for children learning to play), singing together, dancing, watching old musicals

Paula Spencer Scott is senior editor at Caring.com, the leading online destination for caregivers seeking information and support as they care for aging parents, spouses, and other loved ones. Paula is a 2011 MetLife Foundation Journalists in Aging fellow and writes extensively about health and caregiving. If you need respite from caregiving, be sure to learn more about 8 Ways to Arrange a Break From Caregiving.

(Image courtesy of africa at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)